Ok, I may get a lot of flack for this one, but I think it is something really important and isn't discussed enough. I am Mormon, duh, and I remember when the Church could pride itself on having a super low divorce rate. Especially when compared with the national average. But, times have changed. Our divorce rate is nearing the national average even though a big focus within our church is family, communication and love. How is this all changing? I have a theory so please indulge me.....
I personally know at least 10 people my age or younger who have already been married and divorced once. Think about people you know, how many have already done the wedding/divorce thing? What are common themes? Ones I have noticed are: getting married right off a mission, getting married very young and having very short courtships/engagements.
On the flip side I also know a few couples who have done one or all of those things and are still married (and I am thrilled for them) BUT when comparing divorces, the facts speak for themselves. So, if you're reading this and you think I think your marriage is doomed, I definitely don't. I just wish more people would wait just a
little bit longer and really think about what eternity really means.
In August the Church magazine, the Ensign, focused on "older" unmarried members of the Church. They encouraged this group to continue improving themselves with additional schooling, service, etc. Funny thing about this is the more girls "improve" themselves, the more Mormon boys around this area tend to get intimidated. Funny. While I can appreciate the message of hope the Church released, I would really appreciate if they would address the problem of this super young, already divorced group. I have been a member my entire life and I only remember two older, established couples divorcing but can easily come up with 10 or more younger couples. I think that's a problem that they should address.
Last night I met a guy who has been off his mission for about two months and has already gone on a ton of dates. I asked him if he was actively trying to get married and he said yes, he was. I asked why he wanted to get married so bad...was it pressure from his mission, parents, something he really wanted? He said yes, all of the above. When I asked him why he really wanted to get married he said it's because we're supposed to. Yikes.
I hope this doesn't offend anyone, if it does then please prove me wrong and have a wonderful and successful marriage. Anyone else remember when they would discuss our divorce rates in comparison with the national? Let's get them talking about it again in a positive light. I want to see that divorce rate change, if it changes, I can stop theorizing and continue "improving" myself :)
I'm grateful for the opportunity we have for eternal marriage.