Thursday, July 9, 2009

Up at 1:30am

So, I'm up at 1:30am, dead tired and avoiding sleep.  Blah.  Please take this post with a grain of salt.  Please.

I do not like planning things.  I like having the ideas and then depending on a trusty support staff to carry out my ideas exactly how I imagine them.  Planning can be incredibly stressful!  Granted, this summer I literally have nothing to do but when I'm actually busy, planning is no fun!  Also, sometimes I feel as though if I don't plan things, no one gets together and I like it when my friends and I can get together.

Recently I was able to spend the day not being responsible for any of the plans and it was odd.  I had no idea what would be coming up next and it made me feel a little anxious.  (I was also incredibly tired that day, therefore I was much more reserved than normal). 

When asked about my change in attitude and I had to admit it was odd for me to give up control, this person also kindly reminded me that I dislike planning.  Yeah, I got called out.  Huh?  Who am I?

Seriously.  If I dislike planning but felt a bit uncomfortable not having any control....who am I?  I suppose I should feel grateful that it was pointed out, but yuck, I thought I knew myself better than that.

Ok.  I'm done, you may stop reading.  No comments necessary.  Love you.


Hannah Neville McMillan said...

ha ha I feel ya-- I always get after neal for not planning things but then when he does plan things... I'm like-- well, if I would have wanted to do that, I would have planned it! It's rough!!!

Kat said...

I don't know about you, but I have the same symptoms, but I'm a self-diagnosed control-freak. I don't like to plan, but feel out of control if I don't. I'm a huge pre-plan, plan and post-planner (that means going over the details afterwords to see how I could have improved.) Instead of burdening myself with a label of control-freak. I've labeled myself instead as a "project person". It helps. :) By the way, this is Sister Linda Shattuck and somehow the blog has me signed is as Kat, but I don't get that, because she's never logged on to the computer here, unless I didn't know. I don't know how to get to MY profile! argh! help!