She's back, y'all!
She brought a lovely experience home with her that I asked her to share. So, Ms LaMay, the post is now yours-
Devon: Oh heyyyyyy! I'll have you all know that I went through some Rachel withdrawals too (for example, right now she is prancing in front of the mirror in the backpack she'll be using to travel the world and saying, "ohh, this is just so legit" and guess what, I missed stuff like that). Of course, as soon as she got home from her slammin' Friday night, we debriefed on our respective weeks. I was in HOTlanta for a work conference and brought home this little gem of a story:
Well, first I must provide a disclaimer: Rachel and I talk about boys. We like boys. We have some really-awesome-always-insightful-never-irrational opinions on dating. So, who was surprised when the conversation turned to the gents? This story may seem a little lackluster to you, but it provides some wisdom and I promise if you stick with us, you'll find out why.
I guess I'll just come out with it then; I saw a cute boy at this work conference which is kind of a miracle because there aren't many straight, male interpreters- there just aren't- and homeboy was straight. This I know for a fact. I had seen him throughout the week and talked with him here and there but nothing major. And don't get too excited because it doesn't become major... but that's the kicker. What follows is not anything remarkable, but I was taken back nonetheless. Last night there was a game night for one of the member sections of organization I work for and he was interpreting for it (and was awesome which is also very attractive) and after the entertainment/games I was going up to meet someone and Mr. Handsome was right there and we started talking. He was asking me questions about where I was from and how I began to work at the national office and then it hit me. He was talking to me.
Not at me. Not around me. Not looking over my shoulder and half-heartedly listening to me. But he was talking to me.
I noticed mid-conversation how weird it was to me that he was actually looking at me when we talked and engaged in what I was saying to him. Turns out the guy is pretty with it. But that was it. Conversation ended. I'll probably never see the kid again.
Rachel and I were talking about this anomaly, for it unfortunately is one, and I'll let her tell you why...
don't I look LEGIT?
this doesn't capture how I was prancing....
Rachel: AND I'M BACK! Just like that. I love the power of the internet. Okie doke, on to the issue at hand. We are swarming with young, single guys. Sounds like a dream for any HOLD UP! Gotta go kill "the biggest bug in the world" in our bathroom............. I'm back, I killed it and yes, it was huge. I'm a hero. Ok, back to that last sentence......
Sounds like a dream for any single gal, right? Wrong. The girls out here outnumber the guys at least 2:1 and the worst part is that the guys know it. There is nothing more embarrassing and disheartening than to be chatting with a guy and to see him constantly break eye contact to scan the room to see if he's missing out on someone by talking to you. Now maybe you think that we just aren't attractive or good enough at keeping a man's attention, but I assure you - that's not the problem.
We can search our whole lives for "the one" and that's a great thing until you start passing up potentials because you think you might be missing out on someone bigger and better. It is definitely not just a problem with guys, girls are also guilty of doing the scan while talking but coming from our perspective - we really miss having a genuine conversation. There is nothing like connecting with another soul. Nothing.
I recently went through a similar situation. I felt that he was "looking over his shoulder" the whole time (and it wasn't just a feeling, there was evidence) so I couldn't show him who I am. I kept a wall up because I refuse to compete for attention, plain and simple. I'm not asking to be monogamous on the first date, but that literal and metaphorical eye contact do wonders at putting someone at ease and removing the game play from dating. We all want to feel special, and look how easy it is! Eye contact, genuine interest.....why are these traits so rare?
Does any of this make sense or are we speaking our weird language that only we understand? Dev - when are we getting that reality show? Please come back and co-blog any time!