(I saw this broken do-not-walk sign in NYC in September. Totally a Stop! In the name of LOVE moment)
I keep getting proposed to. Boo hoo, right? Isn't this a dream come true for most girls? Absolutely. Do I have a board on Pinterest dedicated to the idea? Most definitely. Do I question the sanity (and hygiene) of the dudes who have asked for my hand? Without question.
The first time was in a 7/11. I'm sure my folks are super thrilled about that minor detail. I was checking out (hot cocoa, gatorade, and a Mamba...I know you were dying to know) and I heard, "Would you marry me, ma'am?". Here's the thing - if you want my attention don't call me ma'am. I will never assume you're talking to me because I'm still a Miss (actually I think I'm technically a Ms now but no. Just no). And here's how the rest of the negotiation went -
Him: "See she won't marry me"
Me: (I have finally looked his way at this point. Most likely with a startled/confused/
elated expression) "What?" (I'm smooth, what can I say?)
Him: "You're just so beautiful, of course you wouldn't want to marry me. It would be like Beauty and the Beast"
Me: (feeling awkward, naturally) "Oh.........no.........heh..................."
Him: "Would you go on a date with me instead?"
Me: (I forget all words and how to use them) "Oh....no.......heh......"
Him: "What about a metro ride? Would you go on a metro ride with me?"
Me: (Finally! Something I can reply to!) "Well I actually have a car that's outside running right now but THANK YOU for making my day. Don't let anyone tell you you're not charming"
And with that I gathered my things and ran to my car.
The second time I was waiting at a red light and I heard the car next to me honk his horn. I looked over and he made the motion for me to unroll my window. How could anything go weird, right? And here we go with what went down -
Him: "I just wanted to tell you that you're beautiful and ask if you'll be my wife"
Me: (I'm an old pro now) "Thank you! Aren't you sweet!"
Him: "You won't be my wife? How about let me call you? Can I call you?"
Me: (big smiles all around) "No, sorry, but THANK YOU! You made my day!"
*light turned green*
It's going to be pretty awkward when I finally get married and I have to explain to my future husband about how many times I've been proposed to.