(I took this at the Korean War Memorial)
One day, I just stopped.
Blogging became something I didn't enjoy and it didn't seem worth the effort. I had changed, yet whenever I posted something I was still trying to come from the perspective of who I used to be. Living in this area for the past 3.5 years has been extremely challenging on all accounts and the turmoil has rewritten my personality and changed the core of who I am. I could no longer sustain posting from the voice of who I was when I was transitioning to someone quite different.
So I'm leaving.
I moved to DC knowing that it was the right place for me. I will never doubt that God told me to be here, so I happily moved because I figured He would illuminate the purpose for my relocation. The difficulty of the past few years has made me wonder if He just needed me to be stronger - to fall and pick myself back up with His help, and to learn things about myself that He couldn't teach me any other way.
For the past 8 months I have felt that I am no longer in the right place. After having been obsessed with DC for several years it was odd to fall out of love with a place I never expected to leave. People would always ask, "How long do you think you'll be in DC?" and my answer would be, "Until someone gives me a reason to leave". Ha! When you have the feeling of being out of sync with where you live it is tough to stay because it effects every area of your life. I looked at going back to San Diego and gave Arizona very serious consideration, but Salt Lake feels right. Before I could make the official decision I had to take this to the Lord. He wanted me here so He had to release me and let me know that it was alright for me to leave. I prayed for several days with no answer and then one night I felt it. Not in my heart or mind, but in my stomach - weird, but perfect. My roommate, Hannah, said that knowing me, that was the most trustworthy place to receive a spiritual prompting. She couldn't be more right!
I am thrilled with this new adventure I will soon be undertaking. Leaving DC will be difficult because I still absolutely love this city. Too bad it didn't love me back. Okay, that's dramatic. The city is wonderful and charming, but it will still always represent a tough but enriching time. Just over the weekend I was walking around, marveling at the beautiful details of our nation's capital city. I love it, I will always love it, but it's time for a new chapter.