Totally Uninspired

With such a titillating title how could you resist reading such a blah worthy blog?  Ug.  I feel so incredibly neutral right now - I blame the holidays.

Yes, we had Christmas, I hope you enjoyed yours.  I could have skipped the entire day and not given it a second thought.  I loved watching the nieces open presents; there is much magic in childhood Christmas, but for me, the pixie dust has run out.

It's odd to feel this way because with the close of 2009 rapidly approaching (tomorrow!) I can look back on this year with a lot of satisfaction.  I can also look forward to a super 2010 (too many expensive plans) but I cannot shake this overwhelmingly neutral feeling.  It's so odd.  Is this what old age feels like?  Hopefully not, this better just be a funk.

Something that will *hopefully* restore some magic and sparkle to my life is that on January 24th, Eliza and I are going here -

They say "dreams come true" there and I'm going to hold them to it!  There's nothing I hate worse than false advertising - except for maybe peanut butter, ham, Tyra Banks, sweet potatoes, sausage, B.O., and boys that wear a lot of hair gel.  Yeah, I'm a picky eater.

Be back tomorrow!  In a better mood *fingers crossed*

"Habits are at first cobwebs, then cables."

- Spanish Proverb

This goes for good and bad habits, of course. Sticker charts, people. Sticker charts will set you free!

Seen and Heard

Recently, while at an undisclosed location, I saw this in action....

Oh yeah, it was the real deal people.  I saw it poking out the side.  Tragic.  The place where I was featured many a ratted mane and I'm sure many more covert Bump It's than those ladies would care to admit.

The hair looked something like this...

I understand wanting volume, I get it.  But having hair that looks alienesque in nature could not have been the look you were going for.  Yikes.

Something I overheard recently was this conversation:

High school girl #1: I think I'll get pregnant during senior year and then try to time it so I'm due in the winter.  I've always wanted a winter baby.

(gaggle of HS girls murmuring their approval)

HS girl #2: Yeah, my mom was kinda weird when I got pregnant but she can't say anything because she got pregnant with me when she was a teenager

HS girl #1: I know, my dad can't get mad either because he had 2 kids by the time he was 19.

I stopped listening after that.  Do these kids not watch after school specials?  Or Maury Povich?  Having a baby and starting a family is a beautiful and wonderful thing BUT....(I don't need to finish this sentence, do I?)

A Wife's Love

A very old man lay dying in his bed. In death's doorway, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookie wafting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands.

With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven.

There, spread out up on newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies.

Was this heaven, or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table. The aged and withered hand, shaking, made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when he was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.

"Stay out of those," she said. "They're for the funeral.”

Dangerous Wands

Dear John...Let Me Guess

Being that this is a Nicholas Sparks movie, we can make several conjectures based on what we know of previous movies books.  Think of "The Notebook", "Message in a Bottle", "A Walk to Remember", etc.

• One of them is living a troubled life before they start dating
• From the beginning they seem like an unlikely pair
• Their love is tumultuous but deep and fulfilling
• One of them will die
• The other will be forever changed for the better because of what they learned from the deceased
• There will be lots of crying, on screen and in the audience

Yes, I plan on seeing it.  What else can we expect from the movie?

Hideous

Ok, the whole outfit belongs on a "Don't" list with a black bar across her eyes to preserve her identity but - the shoes.  The shoes.  They are their own category of hideousness.  I am having nightmares!  Someone actually thought they were a good idea to sketch, then manufacture and then they were purchased!  The horror.

Super

We have all at one point or another thought long and hard about what super power we would have if they were readily available.  I have debated whether invisibility, reading minds or time travel would be my power.

I'm still not sure but this weekend I added another contender to my list.  I want to be able to help people see their blessings in their life.  I say this because I often need this sort of help.  I think we can get so caught up with the #1 problem on our plate that we can forget how incredibly blessed we all are.  When I really think about it, I have realized that I wouldn't trade my trials/issues for anyone else's.  I don't want what anyone else is going through because my problems were made specifically for me.

Kind of a stupid one, but thinking about it from the perspective of a super power, maybe I can remember that I already have the power within me.  But if Clark Kent wants to come visit me at my house, I wouldn't be opposed.

Have a great week and for those of you still working on finals.....GOOD LUCK!!!

"Don't wish it were easier, wish you were better. Don't wish for fewer problems, wish for more skills. Don't wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom."

- Earl Shoaf

This is the sort of week I just had.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I don't get a repeat this week.

I hope you had a great weekend!

Watch Until the End Please

Hopefully this gets people thinking. Yes, parents want their children to be the same as them but more than that, wouldn't you want your child to be who they are? I have seen comments about this video comparing it to "A Modest Proposal" and it makes a lot of sense. People are outraged at the seemingly unethical behavior, until they realize that this is a satire. But guess what? Cochlear implants are a real thing. They are being done on children as young as 6 months. These children grow up not fully accepted into the hearing world and they don't know their natural language (ASL) so they find no part in the Deaf world. Is that not unethical? Let kids have an identity. Access to language and a strong sense of identity are all the tools we need to make it or break it in this life. Most deaf children don't get that, just because their parents want a child to be like them.

If you're going to comment negatively, don't. Find another blog, another forum, just not this one. Nothing you can say can persuade me otherwise, but I thank you for watching.

Happy Weekend Ya'll

An Oldie But a Goodie

A doctor on his morning walk, noticed the old lady pictured above, sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said,

"I couldn't help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?"

"I smoke ten cigars a day," she said. "Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food. On weekends, I pop pills, get laid, and don't exercise at all."

"That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?"

"Forty-four," she replied.

(my dad sent me this!!!)

Smile tho' your heart is aching,
Smile even tho' it's breaking,

When there are clouds in the sky

You'll get by,

If you smile

thro' your fear and sorrow,

Smile and maybe tomorrow,

You'll see the sun come shin-ing thro' for you

Light up your face with gladness,

Hide ev-'ry trace of sadness,

Al -'tho a tear may be ever so near,

That's the time,

You must keep on trying,

Smile, what's the use of crying,

You'll find that life is still worth-while,

If you just smile

-Charlie Chaplin

Before and After

In preparation for this...

...in January, me, Eliza and our friend, Charlotte made sticker charts for motivation.  All of ours varied in  goals to work toward, except for working out everyday.

Yep, a sticker chart.  You remember, from 2nd grade or so?  Yeah, it's hanging in the hall outside the bathroom.  The cruise is the last week of January and we all are feeling the weight of the extra pounds.  Of the two days so far, I have two stickers for working out.  Go me.

Eliza and I also took one of these last night...

Yep.  We took the before picture of our *before and after* campaign.  It was hideous.  Even without a sticker chart, those awful pictures were enough motivation.

By the way, don't ask....they will never see the light of day.

Utah Jazz

My awesome friend, Alayne, was in town this weekend and invited me to a Jazz game with her.

Her rich uncle has a box suite so we all hung out in there, stuffing our faces and feeling extremely superior.

I think I'm ruined from future sporting events now.  It was so fun!  It's nice to have food and the bathroom so close by.  I highly recommend either having rich relatives or having friends with rich relatives.  I have to go with the latter.

Hotels are ridiculous.  I have been coming to Vegas quite a bit lately and I always stay in a hotel.  On top of the room charge they charge an additional service fee everyday.  This week, mine is $10 extra everyday and I pay when for it I check out.  It's not something you can opt out of either.  It covers using the pool (I don't do that sort of thing), the fitness area (DEFINITELY don't), internet in the lobby (not your room), valet for the casino (don't feel like throwing away my money while getting lung cancer from second hand smoke) and other such nonsensical "amenities". 

Listen, just trick me.  Put it into the cost of the room and tell me that I have use of the pool, fitness room, internet in the lobby and valet when I want to gamble.  Don't charge me extra and make me hate you!  I really don't want to hate you, but you're forcing me.